Today was a long hard day. I had 5 meetings for work. I met with a set of triplets and their mother so that counted for 3 meetings but when I do the paperwork it might as well have been 10 meetings wrapped into one. Immediately after work I had to run to get to my book club which I totally love. I mean what’s not to love about getting to discuss books and getting a scrumptious homemade cupcake at the end?
But it was a non-stop rush of information all day long. My body is not tired (I basically was glued to a chair or my car a majority of the day) but my mind is exhausted. Not only do I have to sift through all of the information given, but then I have to try and pick out what is true, what is exaggeration and determine what is best for the child and their family that I am working with.
On top of all of this I have decided to start being better with taking care of myself so I have embarked on the Ketogenic Diet. I have been following it now for about 3 weeks. I would say I am doing “okay” so far. I admit to having two days so far where I turned into a full blown carb addict and noshed down enough high carb foods for two of me because I could not take it anymore. But overall I try to stick to the plan. I get to have cheese which is one of my favorites but I don’t get to have bread or chocolate bars any longer. I can make cauliflower bread but truthfully real pizza tastes so much better then cauliflower pizza any day. Although I will admit that I made a Portobello Mushroom pizza where the mushroom cap was the crust and THAT was scrumptious!!
Making changes is hard but being sick all the time was harder. I kept feeling bloated and exhausted and my blood sugar was resting somewhere in the 260’s to 280’s most days. I was having to take naps on my lunch break just to get through. Now I am down to between 150-190. I know that’s still not quite where I need it to be but it’s definitely better. I definitely have more energy which has allowed me to go to the gym more which is also helping my depression.
I keep beating myself up about the bad days and for “sneaking” foods I know are off the list of approved foods like bread sticks and the cupcake I had tonight. But it’s seriously like placing a bag of heroin on the table and telling an addict “hey I know you’re struggling to stay clean right now but I’m gonna shoot up in front of you because free choice and all.” I’m struggling to say no. I’m panicking about Christmas and what I am going to make when everyone is expecting my cookies that only I make. If they are in the house I will eat them and I can’t because my blood sugar needs to stay under control or my liver is going to shut down (per my doctor). But I don’t want to be a Scrooge or a jerk and deny others because I need to take care of me.
I am also working on being more responsible with my budget and spending less. In addition I am thinking about going to grad school for my Master’s in Social Work. So there’s all that to figure into the busy schedule.
Have you ever felt like you were trying to tackle too much at once? How did you slow down and figure out what to focus on?