The Middle Of The Room Is Better Then The Back

Tonight I took Zumba for the third time this week. I have decided to take the advice of the trainer I had during the gym’s challenge and do things I love instead of forcing things I hate and that are tedious to me. Not to say I should not lift weights but maybe more Zumba with some weight added in.

ANYWAY…

Tonight I decided to be brave and workout in the middle of the room. There were not that many women there tonight so I felt fairly safe in moving up a little. Mostly so I could see the teacher who, by the way, is made of the same material as Tigger because she bounces like it’s more natural then walking. Mostly I hide in the back where my uncoordinated self will not hurt anyone else or myself. So though to many this may seem like no big deal, to me this was huge. It meant I could see and be seen and was taking a chance of my very large self being noticed.

I…HAD….SO….MUCH….FUN!!!

I cannot even express to you the joy I found tonight. Was I any less uncoordinated? Nope. Did I still find myself going left when everyone else was going right? Yup! But for once I did not care. I got swept up in the music and the fun and let myself have a good time. Yes I said good time and the gym in the same sentence. Miracles do indeed happen. My legs and ankles are killing me but it was totally worth it.

I think my challenge to myself moving forward is to try to take small risks like this one and to stop holding myself back because of my fear of someone making fun of me for my weight. Tonight was hopefully the first of many such nights where I just accept where I am and push through anyway.

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Merry and Bright: How To Cultivate More Social Media Friends

I have discovered the formula for having as many friends on social media as possible. If you would like to know how do this please follow these simple rules:

#1 This is the number one rule and pretty much plays into every other rule. Post lots and lots of pictures and videos of yourself merry and bright! Full makeup is a must at all times if you are a woman. Can’t show that we may actually have blemishes, wrinkles, crinkles, freckles, or anything else marring our perfect skin.

#2 The only sad or emotional things you are allowed to post are things about children dying, cancer, abused animals, or your team losing the big game. Don’t you DARE post anything about being depressed, anxious, worried, scared, lonely, frustrated, or bitter. Remember step one? We’re supposed to ALWAYS be merry and bright!

#3 Avoid politics and religion at all costs. God forbid someone has a different opinion then you! That might make you not so merry and bright and nobody wants that right?!

#4 Unless you are posting ADORABLE pictures of your child do not talk about them. Someone might parent different then you and again this may lead to you not feeling so merry and bright. And if you get sad you might ruin your perfect makeup.

#5 Make sure you post pictures of your home perfectly decorated for all the holidays. You must ensure that there are no socks or shoes laying around. The more like a perfect portrait it looks like , and not an actual home you live in, the better. After all perfection makes us all merry and bright, right?

#6 Don’t post pictures of food unless it’s a wedding cake or some other important food based celebration. Pictures of other food items such as the bagel you ate for breakfast with the perfectly spread creamed cheese and cut strawberries does not make everyone merry and bright. Think about those that are allergic to dairy or strawberries. Don’t be cruel to them.

#7 Post lots of funny gifs and memes because they make others merry and bright. Doesn’t matter how you feel. People love that stuff and besides you’re looking to build your friendships not real relationships right?

#8 You can be sad about the death of a loved one but not for too long. If you keep posting about it, then people will start to get annoyed because remember we are all supposed to be centering on MERRY AND BRIGHT!!

#9 Do not argue with anyone or stand up for what you believe in. Just accept the truth of the day and ignore your own intuition and gut feelings when something doesn’t seem right to you. After all we need to keep everyone MERRY AND BRIGHT!

#10 Completely lose all sense of self, blend into the crowd and you too can have millions of Facebook friends which hopefully make you merry and bright while you are simultaneously alone with no real friends to speak of.

Disclaimer: This is me, venting after a long day. DO NOT actually follow these steps unless you truly do NOT want any real friends. Another day I will talk about real relationships and friendships and how to build those.