Tonight I took Zumba for the third time this week. I have decided to take the advice of the trainer I had during the gym’s challenge and do things I love instead of forcing things I hate and that are tedious to me. Not to say I should not lift weights but maybe more Zumba with some weight added in.
Tonight I decided to be brave and workout in the middle of the room. There were not that many women there tonight so I felt fairly safe in moving up a little. Mostly so I could see the teacher who, by the way, is made of the same material as Tigger because she bounces like it’s more natural then walking. Mostly I hide in the back where my uncoordinated self will not hurt anyone else or myself. So though to many this may seem like no big deal, to me this was huge. It meant I could see and be seen and was taking a chance of my very large self being noticed.
I cannot even express to you the joy I found tonight. Was I any less uncoordinated? Nope. Did I still find myself going left when everyone else was going right? Yup! But for once I did not care. I got swept up in the music and the fun and let myself have a good time. Yes I said good time and the gym in the same sentence. Miracles do indeed happen. My legs and ankles are killing me but it was totally worth it.
I think my challenge to myself moving forward is to try to take small risks like this one and to stop holding myself back because of my fear of someone making fun of me for my weight. Tonight was hopefully the first of many such nights where I just accept where I am and push through anyway.