Hello my friends! I have spent this weekend, which I thought would be spent getting caught up on house work, instead stuck on the darn couch again. Still not quite over this being sick thing. So let me say this loud and clear:
I AM SICK OF BEING ON THE COUCH!!!!
Okay, now that I have that out of the way I feel a little better LOL. But seriously I need my strength back. I need to get back to the gym so I can get my blood sugar down after the steroids sent my sugar into major orbit. I have been getting massive headaches as well.
This morning I was feeling pretty low because all I kept thinking about was the things I needed to get done and didn’t have energy for. My husband, blessed soul that he is, intuitively sensed this and wrapped me up in my quilt and snuggled me close. He didn’t really say much but just his presence and his hugs were enough to ease some of the stress I was feeling.
I have been fielding calls after hours for my job since Thursday. The person who had the on call before me had zero calls for a whole week. Meanwhile I have seven and I’m not done until Thursday this upcoming week. And a few have not been simple fixes. Normally I don’t mind doing this because I get extra in my paycheck but when you’re already feeling sick, dealing with other people’s problems become a struggle. I do have compassion and empathy but when I’m sick I want to be left alone. But we need the money so I just keep going.
We went for Sunday dinner at my mother in law’s tonight, and while I love going because I get to see my niece and nephew who are 2 and 3 respectively, the rest of the time I feel completely inadequate. My sister in law who is my husband’s step-sister is the golden child. She has the first two grandchildren and whether my mother in law admits this or not this gives her special status. So naturally I am expected to be her. I am supposed to have kids, grow vegetables, and be this great Italian wife. But I’m not Italian. And I suck at gardening. And as for the babies thing, well, there’s a lot more to that then I am comfortable discussing right now.
So just as I was feeling pretty crappy about myself for not being this amazing person that I’m supposed to be, my niece and nephew both crawled into my lap and snuggled in. They both told me they loved me and then proceeded to just love me and be with me simply because I was there and I loved them so much my heart literally bursts to overflowing every time I am with them. They didn’t ask me to be anything other then big ol’ snuggly Zia Jenny. BTW Zia is Italian for Aunt.
Tonight I am testifying to the healing power of the snuggle. So please grab someone you love and hold them tight. Tell them you think they are precious, wonderful, and so very amazing. Let them know you love them just as is, faults and flaws included. You may not know it but it may mean the world to them as it did to me today.