Another Womanly Milestone

Today I had my first mammogram. It was not as painful as some described it to be, but it was also not a fun new way to spend your morning either. The procedure was very matter of fact, and within 10 minutes I was all done and sent on my way.

When I left, I felt a little bewildered. Honestly there is such momentum around “save the tatas” and breast cancer awareness that it felt like this should be a big deal. After all, it’s one of many milestones women have in their lives such as getting your first period, shaving for the first time, and of course the dreaded (and yet not always so) menopause. I felt like I at least deserved a Hershey kiss or something.

I also left feeling sad. It may sound crazy but I wanted my mom in that moment. I wanted to talk to her about it and conspire about her first one too and if it was any different. I wanted her to tell me she was proud of me for going. But my mom is dead and even if she was alive we would not have had that special moment because that was not the kind of relationship we had. I have been kind of distant from my BFF lately because she seems happiest with her extroverted mom friends and I am neither extroverted nor a mother. My husband checked in from work to see if I was okay, but while sweet, was not the same as having another woman to share this with.

Maybe I am crazy and should realize this is just another indignity that women have to go through as they get older. Maybe it really is no big deal and I’m being weird. But I feel like this should be a bigger deal. There should be chocolate or a nice dinner out or something to celebrate this momentous occasion. Throw some confetti or something!! I slapped my second most private part on a slab and you squished it like an Italian woman smashing grapes to make wine. Can I at least get a good job on the way out the door?

Maybe that is something I can do while I am looking for a job. Make some goodie bags for my local screening center to give to women who got a mammogram so they realize how special a moment it is and how special they are for taking care of themselves. Thoughts?