Escaping Vida

Jemma was a good girl. She did what she was supposed to do whenever she was told to do it. She was loved by the people in the land for her kindness and goodness to all. She was creative and funny, and very intelligent.

Jemma had one enemy in the kingdom. An evil old witch named Vida. Vida did not like anyone to be happy, but especially Jemma. So she cast a curse on Jemma and her husband Jefferson that whenever things were going too well or they became absolutely overcome with joy, something disastrous had to immediately follow. Vida loved to see Jemma suffer because she was too kind and the world should not be kind to nice people.

So for years it went that Jemma would find a short respite of happiness, only to be knocked on her ass five minutes later. Her wedding day? Pure bliss. The rest of the year was a disaster: Jefferson’s aunt passed away, the family cat passed away, and Jemma lost her employment. Jemma and Jefferson finally afforded their own home and immediately things began to go wrong such as the furnace breaking in the middle of winter, Jefferson losing his job and not being able to find another. Stress on top of stress.

So Jemma finally gave up trying to be happy. Instead she buckled down and got to work and paid her bills, and tried to find ways to make it through the days of bleakness. Friends left, too busy with their own lives, careers, and babies, to bother with Jemma and Jefferson even when Jefferson fell in the well and was laid up in bed for days.

One day Jemma had had enough. She marched up to Vida’s door and banged as loud as she could. Vida smiled knowing this day was going to come. “All right you old hag,” screamed Jemma, “I know you cursed me and my husband and I want to know how to break this curse so one of us could be happy.” Vida laughed at the enraged Jemma, so far from the lovely, sweet girl everyone thought she was all those years ago.

“I will give you the knowledge you seek, but once heard, it can never be unheard,” said Vida with her evil grin.

“Just tell me you wicked woman,” snarled Jemma.

“If happiness is what you seek
Then listen close to me
For one to be happy
The other must be set free.” replied Vida

“What the hell do you mean?” asked Vida

“Simple, my child. In order for one of you to be able to experience the full measure of joy without the ever present disaster after, one of you must die to appease the evil spirits holding the curse in place. They will feast on your soul, and while they are busy doing that, I will be able to eliminate them. There is no other way,” cackled Vida.

“Fine, let’s do it,” said Jemma with a deadened look in her eyes

“What?!” said Vida startled at Jemma’s quick agreement to the terms of lifting the curse.

“I can’t live this life always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Anxious about when the curtain of doom is lowered. I am tired and if it means Jefferson can be happy, really, truly happy, then I’m willing to die for that.”

“Are you sure?” asked Vida curiously. “Once I start the ritual, there is no turning back.

“I’m sure said Jemma,” standing resolutely in front of the old woman.

And so Vida let loose a barrage of lightening at Jemma, stunning her but not killing her. She sent daggers soaring through the air into Jemma’s stomach, arms, and legs. Not enough to kill her of course, but enough to cause her excruciating pain. She lit Jemma’s feet on fire and soon Jemma’s simple dress caught and the fire crawled up her body and lit her hair on fire. Jemma screamed at the pain and agony of it all until finally she fell silent, dead at last.

Vida watched as the shadows crawled out of the walls and towards Jemma’s charred, bleeding, body. There were hundreds in the room feasting on the pure spirit that was formerly Jemma. Finally, as promised, Vida muttered the chant to kill the demons and lift the curse.  A bright burst of white light filled the room and all the shadow demons were killed instantly.

Back at the house, Jefferson woke with a start from his bed. Something had happened, but he wasn’t sure what. He looked all over the house for Jemma but could not find her. As he stepped outside the front door to see if she was in the garden, a beam of pale blue, glittery light enveloped him and he felt a sudden lightness he had never felt before. He wanted to dance, and laugh, and sing, and cry tears of joy, it was so beautiful.

He saw a beautiful woman in a white robe approach the house. She had lovely auburn hair and eyes as green as a four leaf clover. She seemed familiar somehow but she was glowing so it was hard to tell. “Jefferson, my love, you are free to be happy,” she whispered. “Jemma?” he asked bewildered.

“It is I my love. I have allowed the witch to kill me in order to ensure your happiness,” she said smiling at him lovingly.

“No. Jemma….I…I can’t live without you,” said Jefferson

“But you must, or my sacrifice will have been in vain,” said Jemma

“I will see you soon, my love,” said Jefferson as he pulled his hunting dagger from his pocket and slashed his throat.

Jemma stared in horror as her husband laid on the ground bleeding out. She wept bitterly as she realized the full enormity of what she had done. Suddenly she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Hey now, no crying,” said Jefferson behind her. “Now we can be happy together forever.”

And so the two walked hand and hand into eternity together, at last beyond the grip of Vida and her cruelty.

Hope you enjoyed my short story! Comment below but be kind.

 

Super Explosive Glittery Happiness

Today I did something that was really difficult for me. I sucked up my pride, my anxiety, and my terror and went to see a Nurse for Diabetes Education and a Dietician today because my Diabetes/Health/Blood Sugar/Mental Health are all out of whack at the moment and I feel that I am in a place where I am finally ready to do something about it besides whine, make excuses, and generally beat the crap out of myself about it.

I sat in this office from 1:15pm-4:30pm asking every question I had about my medication, testing my sugar, complications I have been experiencing, which foods I thought were “bad,” and mostly my feelings of failure every time I test my sugars and it’s not where it should be. I had honestly given up trying to test because it felt pointless and demoralizing to see that number every day.

THESE WOMEN WERE AMAZING!!

They listened to my concerns, explained my medications, explained certain symptoms, gave me suggestions, told me all my next steps, gave me samples, gave me REASONABLE expectations for eating, and just generally made me feel like a good human being again. PLUS!!! They said I was not eating as bad as I thought and that I actually have A LOT of muscle mass despite my insistence when I came in that I was 99% fat mass.

I left that office very tired but also feeling like a super glitter bomb of happiness just exploded inside my chest! I have not felt hopeful about my body, about my weight, or my ability to manage this illness in YEARS!

I want to sincerely thank those women for giving me back hope, for giving me an action plan, and also for treating me with dignity. It meant the world to me.

My advice is no matter how many crappy doctors, specialists, or experts you encounter you should never give up. It took me years to find the right people who believed me, saw me as a whole person, and listened to what I had to say. So please if you are reading this, don’t give up. Keep fighting and keep trying. You may be one appointment away from

Super Explosive Glittery Happiness!!

Be Attitudes

Recently our church has been going through the Beatitudes one verse at a time every Sunday for the last few weeks. These are instructions from Jesus on how to live our lives and arrange our priorities so that we can live lives that are pleasing to God. If you would like to read them yourself, you can click here.

These beatitudes are completely backwards from the way the world wants you to look at life. The world says “get it all” Jesus tells us to “give it all.” The world says “get your revenge” and Jesus says “be nice to those who are nasty/mean/cruel even if they are never nice to you in return.” The world says “Nobody will ever know,” but Jesus tells us “God knows and sees it all.” But the amazing part is God sees it all and still loves us. I have said and done some horrific things to others in the past and despite God seeing that cruel, vengeful, hatred filled person, He still loves me! That blows my mind.

This series has been really eye opening for me.  I know I need to change some priorities in my life but if I’m honest, #1 it’s really hard, and #2 I like being really comfortable. Like today I know I should have gone to the gym after work to have a healthy body which would give me more energy to do for others, but instead I only got dressed in my workout pants and never made it out the door. I know I should stop wasting money on unnecessary food and snacks so I will have money to give to the church instead of my local convenience store, but I keep screwing up.

When my pastor said this past week that whatever you give the most time, attention, money, and thoughts to, that is your god, that felt like a smack upside the head. I constantly think about money, my body, and food. Like almost every freaking spare minute. It’s really bad, sad, and embarrassing actually. I’m always worried there will not be enough to pay my bills or do things I want to do. So then I stress and I eat. Then I curse my body for being so weak. But the Bible said we should not worry about what we will eat, drink, or wear because God will take care of all our needs.  Verses Here

So each day I am trying to do a little better and to focus on God a little more and a little on myself less. I want to do things that please God because I love God and not because I have to but because I want to and they are things that will help me and others.

More later my friends. Have a great night!!

The Twists and Turns of the Past Month

Early October, my husband calls me at work saying he doesn’t feel well and is going to Urgent Care. The doctor there says he looks okay but wants him to go to the Emergency Room because he can’t get a full breath in. Turns out he had a massive blood clot in his lungs and another in his leg. One day later and I would have lost my love and best friend. He’s now on medication and doing fine but three days in the hospital were very scary for me. I got a taste of what it would be like to live alone, without my best friend, and I definitely did not like it. There was much sobbing and fear.

On the same day my husband went to Urgent Care, I was sent home from work early because I was totally and completely burnt out. I was snapping at my boss, crying, stomping around like a 2 year old, and engaging in much muttering under my breath. Thank God in the long run she sent me home because then I was able to deal with my husband. But at the time it made me angry because I had SO MUCH WORK TO DO!!

My boss has finally realized driving her team into the ground was not working so as a team we came up with expectations that seem more reasonable. This has lifted a load off my shoulders in the best possible way because I felt like I was drowning and would never recover from the stress of it all.

Last weekend I went to an Apple Festival with my mother in law and a bunch of people from her work. It was the most wonderful weekend I had in awhile. There was  crisp fall breeze, the scent of fresh apples in the air, beautiful leaves that were changing color, craft vendors, and of course fresh apple cider which is literally one of my most favorite drinks on the planet. The whole day was a big soul refresher and for the first time in months I fell asleep contented and did not wake up once.

Also in the past month I have joined two Bible studies. One is for people struggling with mental health issues called Hope and Grace. They meet every week and its a great group of people. I am making my husband go with me for support but it’s actually helpful to him so YAY! I also joined a Bible study about Romans which is very difficult because the book they are using is written like a college text book and is very hard to get through. But the people are nice so I’m going to keep trying.

My church has been doing a sermon series on the Beatitudes (Matthew Chapter 5 in the Bible). It has been very helpful in giving me insight into what God is looking for in a person. I also finished reading a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan. That book blew me away! It really made me question how I am doing things when it comes to my relationship with God and also some strongholds I have in place that are getting in the way of my relationship with God which has been tough.

My fellow blogger, Jenny Lawson, also opened up her own book store which I was really excited to hear. You can find her blog here. She is one of the most hilarious writers I’ve ever read and you should definitely read her books. I would love to meet her in person one day.

Well that’s it folks. My mental health is back on track, I am no longer wallowing in despair and I hope to be writing more often.